Woke up with butterflies in my stomach, "what if's" flooding my mind, and a sense of change. I desire change now more than ever in my life. Anxiety and intrusive thoughts keep getting in the way. What will keep them away? Am I not worthy of a better life? Granted, I haven't been my best self lately, but I know that I can be better. I know that I WILL be better. I hope that I can be forgiven. I owe everything to the one above, for when I have been at my lowest, they were all I had.
Now, there is also HIM. And for HIM I also need to be better. The future is nearing, and I see him there with me. I've heard the plans, the wants, and the questions. I have the wants and am in the process of making plans. Will there ever not be questions? God, it's a scare. Everything's always a scare. I did something on my own today because I yearn for success and happiness. I'm seeing a happy family living in a beautiful home, traveling, and smiles and self-love in my future. That Will be my future. That IS my future.
The yearning is growing stronger than the fears. It's time to be a fighter.
Well, this is my fairytale. Maybe someday I can make you believe in fairytales too.
~iheartfairytales
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