28

I had so much hope in me. I thought my dreams were going to finally come true. It was time. It was MY TURN. I could hardly believe it was finally happening. Why did I believe it was finally happening? My heart shattered that day. I mean what even are the odds of such a thing happening to someone?

I walked in for the interview for the job of my dreams, and no one was there. I made a call, and this person apologized and promised to call back, but nothing. I got nothing. I never heard from them again. I didn't even get my chance. My chance was taken from me. This opportunity was taken from me. And my time was wasted.

I completely broke down and it was all I could think about. How could that happen? I even asked God. Was this a blessing in disguise or is this my punishment? I started thinking I may have deserved this. Lately I've been working on my faith, and I have apologized time and time again. But was it not enough? What more is there for me to do? Will I ever be forgiven? Sometimes I don't want to be here anymore. It's been hard and I just don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to be anywhere. I fantasize about a storm coming. Its dark and raining. The wind is so strong it's taking almost everything with it. I see it taking strong and steady items along with it. Maybe they aren't so strong after all. I watch them blow away with the wind and the rain, not knowing where it will take them. As I watch I hadn't noticed myself being lifted up and away along with everything else. I am terrified. I brace myself. I close my eyes and let it take me away. I become accepting of what is happening to me. I become at peace. I am leaving and I am not coming back.

*sigh* Welcome to my fairytale.

~iheartfairytales